almost 5 months

by babybanany on January 12, 2013

There is too much love, my love.
I thought surely by now my heart would have grown to accommodate all of this love I have for you, that has consumed me like the sea swallowing a tiny boat. I cannot row this vast ocean of love for you alone. I try to give the immense responsibility of loving you to others to share, it’s so much, but I still cannot hold all of what is left myself.

Your little brown eyes stop and start time whenever you pause to look at me. Your hands stretch out to hold my face- Let me see here. Ah yes, mommy.– and lately you punctuate these sweet moments with your little man kisses you’ve been practicing lately. You are the best.

At the moment, you are lounging in your little chair on the floor next to me, curled up with your Dr. Seuss blanket and a pacifier, feet and legs uncovered to catch the current of cool air across your soft baby skin. You’re growing so big so fast. I miss the days of your beginning, already. You were so little, so delicate, so peaceful. You are a lot more fun these days because you are lively, curious, and learning so much all the time. But your frenzied energy is so much to keep up with that time is moving faster everyday. And that moves us further and further from you being my baby, propelling you at warp speed toward being my young man. Go easy on your mother with this growing up stuff, will ya?

So the last 2 or so months you’ve of course gotten bigger. You had your first Christmas but had no idea what it even was, so it wasn’t very eventful. We went to Uncle Andy & Aunt Jenny’s for breakfast and the boys loved seeing you. Then we went to Grandpa & Nana’s for an early dinner, and then home to eat again with Grandma & Grandpa. After all that, we just relaxed and rested for the night. We didn’t open your presents with you until a couple weekends later. We’ve been so busy around here lately.

You’re teething pretty bad lately and fuss a lot at night when we’re trying to sleep. Thankfully we have Baby Orajel and Hyland’s Teething Tablets to help soothe your gums so you can nurse and go back to sleep. Mommy doesn’t sleep much these days but it’s for a very good reason, so I don’t mind as much as I thought I would.

Your bestest friends and their mommies are a huge part of our life these days. Without Maria and Nikole, and Brighton and Josiah, we wouldn’t be where we’re at now in your little world. Because of them, we’ve kept you “EBF”, which means an incredible amount to me, as does their kindness, love, support, friendship, and care for you. They love you, Bug. And we love them.

But there’s so much more to tell you about them and all of the other people in your life that will have to wait for another time. I have homework to do before you wake up again, and I’d like to try to shower tonight.

I love you more than I know how to.